You've got me. It's not that I've been avoiding this... I just didn't really have anything to report till now. My plan was to get settled into our house and get a car and some respectable business clothes so I would have everything I needed to go out there and start job hunting. That was taken care of fairly quickly, thanks in part to my sister-in-law Claire who sent me a massive box of her "old" suits as she was packing for their move to Korea. Right around then, we decided to make the trip up to Colorado, so I figured I should wait to start making phone calls until we got homr just incase I was hired and my new employer wouldn't let me have that time off. When we got back to town and finally got settled back into our house, I was faced with the daunting task of trying to make good on all my talk of working and making something of myself. Turns out that's a lot easier said than done.
I have to admit that I am terribly intimidated by job hunting. I've only had two other real "jobs" in my life, and I didn't really have to go out and search for them since they were both directly offered to me. They also only lasted for a couple of months during the summer, and I was able to set my own hours. Even then, I really didn't like having to go to work. I'll gladly pour hours and hours and hours into doing something that I love and believe in (as I did for Intervarsity my senior year), but the feeling that I have to go out and do something just rubs me the wrong way.
So, for a few weeks, I was very frustrated. Not only did I have this internal debate going on about whether or not I actually wanted to get a job, but it seemed like that didn't really matter because, even if I decided that I'm ready to start working like a normal adult, I wasn't going to be able to find a job in this market. I've repeatedly looked through the employment listings for Phoenix and the base, and there's nothing (yet) that would work for me. It wasn't until I started job searching that I realized the downside of living in the West Valley. It's primarily a residential/retirement community and, therefore, there's just not a whole lot going on out here. Especially in this economy, the only people who are hiring are in need of people with a very specific set of skills (like CNA's or bilingual tutors) so I'm not eligible for most all of the jobs that I see listed. The only positions that seem to apply to me are in Scottsdale, Tempe, or Mesa, which are all about an hour away (with traffic). That'd be the equivalent of living in the Springs and commuting to Denver and back every day. Doable for a photography gig or something, but not for a regular job.
My only comfort was the fact that James and I are able to comfortably live on one income, so I didn't need to find a job. However, I am very sick of just sitting around the house every day and want to find something to do, even if I'm not getting paid for it. So I decided to try calling and emailing some local photographers to see if they would be willing to sit down and talk to me for about 30 minutes - hoping, of course, that once we got to talking they would see that I am passionate, intelligent and a hard worker and I'd be able to finagle some sort of internship or paid assistantship out of it. They must have guessed that that's what I was up to because none of them bothered to write or call me back until two days ago. One photographer finally called and we talked for about twenty minutes. I got some good information out of him, but quickly realized that that was all I would get because he doesn't work much anymore, and when he does, he already has an assistant. However, I felt a lot better afterward because he says that, after I get a professional website, I will have all of the tools and know-how to go out and start working. I just have to really work on marketing myself since there are so many other photographers in the area.
That was a moment of clarity and encouragement for me. I had been hesitant to really start advertising because I wasn't sure if I would be able to give my clients what they want due to my lack of knowledge and experience. Turns out I know more than I thought I did and, with a little effort, I could be just as good as many people out there. I just needed some confidence in myself and the courage to get out there and do it!
So, for the time being, I'm going to work hard on promoting my fledgeling business. Right now I'm teaching myself how to make websites using Adobe Dreamweaver (a complicated but very cool computer program I recently purchased), and I'm going to get some much needed portfolio work done on June 20th when we fly back to San Antonio for Caleb and Jordan's wedding. I'm very excited because I got two calls in the last few days about taking pictures for some friends later this summer. It will be interesting to see where this all goes.
In addition to photo work, I've decided to pour myself into volunteering at the church we've been going to. We were waiting to get involved at Palm Valley until after Caleb and Jordan get out here at the beginning of July because we really want to worship with them every week and know there are other churches Jordan's heard of and wants to try out. However, James and I really love this church and realized that if we keep putting off getting involved, we'd never do it. So, after praying about it for a few days, we sent an email to the youth pastor, introducing ourselves and asking if he had a need for any more volunteers. He wrote us back immediately (which was so nice after weeks of waiting for a response from photographers) and said that he would love to have us on the team and invited us to an informational meeting at his house next Tuesday night!! I have no idea what we will be doing, but at least I'll be free to pour myself into Kingdom work the way I did in college. For me, that is so much more fulfilling than earning money. So, we'll keep you updated on how that goes. After I get an idea of how much time I'll be investing in the youth program, I plan to send in an application to be a part of the media team as well. They have a really happening video program at the church and I'd love to get back into doing that kind of thing again. : )
So, that's what's been going on with me. I'm still checking the "help wanted" adds in the newspaper and Craigslist every other day, and I have various projects that help keep me busy. But I have a feeling that the thing that will keep me the most busy and bring me the most joy is going to be getting involved in youth ministry again. This may even help inspire me to start writing again...hmm...
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