To Emulate an Artist

Tonight I enjoyed watching the first, and probably the most meaningful, award show of the season. The Kennedy Center Honors are as glitzy and star-studded as any other award ceremony, but have a sense of reverence that is a refreshing departure from the superficial opulence of Hollywood. It's great because, as the years go on, I'm starting to recognize more and more of these people. It used to be I might have heard of one of the honorees... But tonight, I was 4 for 6. There was Morgan Freeman (amazing actor), Twyla Tharp (innovative dancer), Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey of The Who (rock stars), George Jones (country singer), and Barbara Streisand (all-around performer and feminine champion).

The best part of the show is the musical tribute paid to each honoree after their video biography. These performances are always very well done. But I got to wondering tonight how the people on stage feel, knowing that they are attempting to reproduce the work of a living legend who will be sitting out in the audience, watching their every move. It's probably about as exciting and painful as what the honorees experience as they watch these young people try to remake their greatest work. I love watching their reactions to each performer. Sometimes they have a look of polite interest and encouragement as they look down at the youngster who is trying his or her best to impress. Sometimes they look downright concerned at some of the liberties that are being taken. And, in a rare but special moment, you see a tear in their eye as they are genuinely moved by this passionate display of love for what they have accomplished in life.  It is a night set aside for celebrating creativity - where the nation's finest are given the chance to applaud and, for a lucky few, to emulate a truly legendary artist. For that's all we can ever hope to do. We can't outdo the best.

As I pondered these things during a remarkable rendition of "Teenage Wasteland", it struck me... If it's hard for a great artist to watch another artist try to reinterpret their work, how must God feel every time we try to create something? If you think about it, everything we do as artists stems from the inspiration we pull from something He has created. He was and is the Original Artist, and whether or not we are trying to honor Him with our creativity, all we can ever hope to be are very skilled copy-cats. I can't help but chuckle as I imagine Him looking down on a kindergarten classroom and saying, "Come on, kid! You call that a rainbow?" That's what God would do if He was selfish and shallow like us. But I am confident that He is more like that super-supportive parent who Ooo's and Aww's at even the most unfortunate-looking scribbles their child produce. He gave us the ability to create and, therefore, must rejoice in our creative attempts. For some of us, using our imaginations are the greatest way we can worship our Lord. It provides a way to express the wonder and beauty of all He has done, and - unlike the judgmental traditions of the world - using art and creativity for the glory of God is always a beautiful thing.

"In art and creativity we make visible to others the beauty and meaning God has first pictured, or introduced, into our own imaginations. In that sense we are each a small extension of the mind of God." ~ Luci Shaw

Family Bonding

James and I are getting pretty close to being able to say that we've seen every member of our family over the course of this year. Not only was there the mini-reunion at the wedding in May, but we have been able to take three big trips around the country to see most of the people who couldn't make it out for the ceremony. In September we went out to California and spent some quality time with James' family. Then we went to Louisville to see my dad's side of the family over Thanksgiving. This past weekend, we finally made the trip up to Dallas to see my mom's side of the family. I haven't been able to visit my Uncle Mike, his wife Susan, and their kids and grandkids very often so I knew I shouldn't pass up the opportunity to see them while we still live in the same state.

I'll admit I was a bit nervous since I haven't seen my cousins in years, but there was nothing to worry about because they were all extremely warm and welcoming. We stayed with my cousin Michelle, her husband Mark, and their two girls - Elizabeth and Hannah. They have a beautiful house on the north side of the city, and we really enjoyed spending a couple of leisurely nights with them and their adorable dogs. On Saturday afternoon, my Uncle took us on a brief tour of downtown Dallas. It was pretty incredible seeing some of these historic places like the street where JFK was assassinated, as well as some new points of interest like the house that George and Laura Bush are going to move into in a couple of weeks. When we'd seen enough, we met my cousin Jim for what he claims is the best burger in Dallas. Then we rounded out the afternoon by visiting with my Aunt and Uncle.

Over all, it was a really laid-back weekend. But that was just what we needed. We weren't looking for an exciting and action packed experience in a new city. We made the 9 hour drive up there to reacquaint ourselves with a big part of our family, and that's exactly what we did. In fact, I would say that we got to kind of bond with them, which is something I don't feel like I've ever really done with them. Like I said, we rarely got together with the Dallas crew when I was growing up. I really hope that that will no longer be the case. I am so thankful that James and I not only have faces and memories to put with the names on those annual Christmas cards, but we now feel like we have connected with every part of our family. It means so much to me to know that (with the exception of James' grandparents from Maine and Uncle who is doing some work related with the Peace Core in Morocco) we have both met each other's families and have their personal blessings for our union. We've joined our two families into one and are following their example for how to live and love as our own little family. Nothing better than that around the holidays!

Our First Christmas

Well, Christmas has finally come to Del Rio! Most of our friends left earlier this week to go spend the holidays with their families in more exciting parts of the country - but I'm glad that James and I decided to stay here. Since we got to visit both sides of the family earlier this year, we felt it would be better to save our travel money and start our own yuletide traditions.

We kicked off our Christmas celebration yesterday afternoon by watching one of my favorite Christmas movies - "The Holiday". It never fails to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Soon afterward, it was time to start cooking! We decided to have our big Christmas feast on Christmas Eve and then enjoy left-overs after opening gifts. We've never really cooked a BIG meal like this before, but agreed we wanted it to be special, so it was interesting trying to figure out what would make the biggest bang for the smallest buck. I had to make several short phone calls to my mom to ask how to do basic things that my recipes do not explain - but luckily we managed to cook a very tasty meal without burning down the apartment. We were extremely satisfied after scarfing down some honey-glazed pre-cooked turkey, fresh green beans, sweet potato casserole, and James' favorite - homemade dinner rolls.

After that, we got dressed up in green and red and drove down to Del Rio Bible Church for their Christmas Eve service. We were kind of hoping for a more traditional service than we normally get on Sundays. James was especially looking forward to singing some of the traditional Christmas hymns like "Joy To The World" and "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing!". Unfortunately, they stuck with their usual contemporary worship songs, with frequent prayer and some "special music" mixed in. They even let a few of the little kids in the congregation come up front and play the piano for us. But my favorite part of the night was not the heart-felt testimony and scripture reading in the middle of the service, or the candle lighting at the end, but the animated videos they sprinkled throughout to keep the kids occupied. Nothing quite like watching Charlie Brown in church. It was definitely a different experience than either of us were expecting - but as I thought about it - I was OK with it. It was a worship service focused on Jesus, not on tradition or the holiday itself, and maybe Christmas would be a bit more meaningful if more churches did that.

When we got home, we made some hot chocolate and watched "It's a Wonderful Life". After that, it was time for bed, which meant it was time to test if our pre-arranged gift-exchange plan would work. You see, both of our parents were the ones who took care of putting out the gifts and stuffing the stockings. But now we had to do that for each other, and it was going to be pretty tricky finding a way to surprise one another. It was a creative endeavor, shopping for gifts without tipping the other off, and finding a place in our small apartment to hide them until the big day. But we agreed not to go snooping, and that I would put his presents out after bedtime on Christmas Eve and he would get up in the morning and put mine out. It all went surprisingly well. We make pretty good Santa's.

James woke me up this morning with a kiss, which was the first of many wonderful gifts! We made some cinnamon rolls and scrambled eggs for breakfast, which were very tasty indeed. Then we read the story of Jesus' birth from the Bible and said a prayer of thanksgiving before tearing into our small pile of presents under the tree. All of these things are a combination of each of our family's traditions for Christmas morning, which was fun and meant a lot to both of us.

James seemed to be pretty thrilled with his gifts - some of his favorite treats, an iTunes gift card, new sketch book, a couple of other books I knew he would like, and a new novelty tee shirt that he really wanted. He loves to dote on me so it was no surprise all his gifts blew mine out of the water. First, he had some of my favorite pictures from the wedding printed and framed for me. He also got me a couple of accessories for my camera, and 151 movies. Yes, you read correctly - 151! He found two DVD box sets (one of 100 and one of 50) that contained a bunch of classic Hollywood films, and also got me "WALL-E" because he knew I would enjoy it.

 It's funny because we are so similar, we ended up getting each other some very similar gifts. We both bought a copy of the new Harry Potter book - "The Tales of Beedle the Bard" - for one another, and he got me a similar tee shirt from the same website. Again, gift-giving between the two of us is a difficult thing because we do everything together.

Once the main event was over, we relaxed for a bit and explored our new toys. Then we went to the movies to see one of the 6 new movies that came out today. "Bedtime Stories" is a very cute and enjoyable family film and I highly recommend it!

And there you have it, we're about to chow down on our plentiful left-overs and watch "WALL-E". It's been a very mellow but enjoyable Christmas and we are both looking forward to making use of our gifts in the coming months. All of these movies will help keep me occupied while he is at work and studying in his next phase of training. My new camera accessories will also definitely help as I start doing more professional photo shoots.

We have both really enjoyed being married these past 7 months and love being our own little family. By the time New Year's rolls around we will have spent time with almost our entire family this year, and will be ready to finally start working and doing something with our time and energy. It's been a great holiday, and we look forward to many more of them in the future!

What Not To Wear

You know things are bad when you're sitting on your couch in your pj's on a weekday afternoon and you choke on your ramen noodles because you realize the woman being profiled on 'What Not To Wear' looks just like you. Same flat, shoulder length brown hair - same worn out tee shirts and flare jeans - same black converse tennis shoes... Even her shapeless khaki colored purse looks like mine, but I bet hers doesn't have holes in it. =^/

I've never really been a girly girl who enjoys shopping and spends a lot of time on how they look. For a long time I was sort of a tom boy - always hanging out with guys, never wearing dresses, and never wearing make-up. Because of that, I think I missed out on a lot of those crucial lessons that other girls must have gotten on how to make yourself look nice and feminine. I often joke that I am "girl retarded" because I still don't really know how to style hair or the right way to put on make-up and things like that.

My super-casual appearance worked well in college because there was really never a need to dress up. I figured that I didn't need to impress anybody because I already had a wonderful boyfriend (who lived 1000 miles away) and so I usually just rolled out of bed, threw on some jeans and a hoodie, and braided my hair into pigtails. Kind of pathetic...but people generally seemed to think it was silly in an endearing sort of way...and I could live with that.

But now I find myself in an awkward transition. I'm only 22 and could probably get away with still shopping in the juniors department... But I'm also married and finished with school and trying to start my own business. I don't feel comfortable shopping in the women's department but I'm pretty sure I should move on from the tiny screen printed tees and jeans and try to look a little more sophisticated...

I think my biggest problem is that I was raised to be very frugal and have a really hard time spending money on myself. I watch all of these fashion shoes on TV and cognitively recognize what I should be wearing right now...but I can't bring myself to spend the money required to help my wardrobe grow up. I would be so excited if Stacy and Clinton ambushed me with $5000 to spend on new clothes. First of all, I'm sure I could use their help to figure out how to properly dress and style my body. But also, knowing that I had to spend all that money on myself might help me loosen up when it comes to price tags. Right now I still think $30 is a lot to spend on anything (except electronics ;^).

I guess this time in my life is all about growing up and figuring out how to be an adult. Hopefully as things start to pick up with my photography, I'll have a little extra spending money that I can put toward some much needed style restoration. I think the first thing will be to find a replacement for my poor, hole-y handbag. 

Pastor Joe

Pastor Joe of Del Rio Bible Church is a very passionate little man. I always look forward to going to church because I know that, any time he speaks, he is guaranteed to wander off-topic and say something that is completely random, but bitingly honest. Most people get frustrated with his long-winded and rambling sermons, but I find that - no matter how lacking his organization skills are - I always walk away with something meaningful to think about.

Today, we discussed Luke 2:21-40 (which was a huge relief for the regulars because we've been studying Genesis every week for the last 7 months). Pastor Joe said that he chose this scripture because he thinks it is wrong that everyone reads Luke 2 at Christmas but always stop at verse 20. The second half of the book details what happened in the months after Jesus was born - namely the story of Mary and Joseph taking him into the temple to make a sacrifice and dedicate him to the Lord.

Up until this point in the sermon, Pastor Joe had been fairly good about simply expositing on the text. But, this part in the story reminded him of one of his greatest passions, and he couldn't help but pause and talk for several minutes about the importance of actively educating your kids about what it means to be a Christian and making sure you bring them up right. I guess his wife is a teacher so education and parental responsibility are big concerns of his. We've heard him make many a spirited speech about how our culture is going down the toilet because parents refuse to discipline their kids...

Anyway, he said something today that I thought was very interesting. He believes that the purification ceremony that followed the birth of a child in those days kind of served as a reminder for each parent that the child will have to pay the penalty for sin if they do not create a relationship with God. They recognized the fact that we are born as sinful beings who are in need of salvation - something most modern parents seem to have forgotten. People in our culture seem to think that children are innocent little angels and should be allowed to grow and find their own way without the restriction and frustration that results from being disciplined. Of course, that's a terrible idea, and we see the results of this flawed parenting philosophy every day on TV. Kids are spoiled, shallow and rebellious - and very few of them make any effort to maintain their faith after they leave home and have the freedom to make their own choices. My college staff worker said he read somewhere that 85% of young Christians walk away from the church when they are in college!!

The main point is - people do not become Christians through heredity. Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean your kids will be. It is supremely important to try to teach them about Christ and influence them as they grow in their faith! As Pastor Joe said, if your children do not actually see you living what you preach, they will not accept your Savior.

I wish more people took the time to invest in their kids these days. If they did, the world would be a much better place. I know it's uncomfortable for parents to talk about something deeply personal with their kids...but that's really unfortunate. Kids need to get this information from somewhere. If you don't talk to your kids and teach them the important things about life, they will figure it out somehow - and you may not like the conclusions they reach.

I am so glad that James and I have been hearing talks like this because it should come in handy when/if we become parents. I don't even know where to begin when it comes to having meaningful talks with little kids...but at least James and I have made a commitment to really try to communicate with our kids about everything. I don't think either of us had enough deep and honest conversations with our parents and we both really regret that now. Luckily, we both turned out pretty well. God really can work in any situation.

A Week of Celebrations!

This past week has been crazy but so much fun! Because James and I are not real busy right now, we have been able to spend a lot of time with friends, having fun and enjoying the season. This past week was the week of all of our Christmas parties and so it seems like we were celebrating more often than not.

On Monday night we celebrated a new friendship.

For the past several weeks, we've been attending a couple's Bible study centered around the Song of Solomon. It's been the highlight of my week because we get to go be with other Christian couples and have great discussions. There is a decent range of ages there - from newly wed couples like us to people who have been married for over 20 years and have several kids. We feel like we have learned a lot from the older, more experienced couples, and that we have a lot in common with the others who are also just starting out.

We've really bonded with one of the other newlywed couples in the group. Their names are Ashley and Patrick ("Chappy") Chapman. Apparently James and Chappy have known each other for several years because they went to the same prep school before going through the Air Force Academy. Chappy's family currently lives in Colorado Springs, and Ashley is originally from California - so, of course, we immediately hit it off. They are both extremely fun and friendly and I already feel closer to them than I have been to anyone else I have met since my arrival. On Sunday night, after a particularly great Bible Study, we got to talking about how much we love getting to spend quality time with other Christians and never want our discussions to end.Before the night was over we had exchanged phone numbers and, sure enough, they called us up on Monday and invited us over for hot chocolate and cookies. We sat on their couch and talked for three hours before realizing it was really late and everyone except me had to get up early for work the next morning. We parted ways after promising to hang out again, and agreeing that the holiday parties that our friends were planning for the weekend couldn't come fast enough.

Wednesday night we celebrated the start of a new chapter in life.

There is another young couple from our church that we have enjoyed spending time with over the past few months. Chad and Alanna Reger are some of the most friendly people I have ever met, and they really helped me to feel at home at Del Rio Bible Church. However, Chad got his assignment to Oklahoma City last month and this was their last week in town. We didn't want to just say good bye at church on Sunday, so we invited them over for dinner on Wednesday night in hopes of spending a little more quality time before they left. Transferring from one base to another is a really hectic process, and so we figured they would enjoy getting out of their boxed-up house and having a home-cooked meal before heading out on the road. I spent a good portion of the afternoon getting everything ready - from setting the table with our wedding china to baking some fun holiday desserts before starting on the Italian meal we had planned for that evening. I was a bit frazzled by the time James got home from work, but it was totally worth it because they seemed to really enjoy the food and we very much enjoyed their company. They will definitely be missed.

Friday night we celebrated the good life we lead.

Recently, James and I received an invitation to a holiday party being held at our friend Caleb and Greg's bachelor pad. (For those who attended our wedding in May, these were the guys who showed up to the rehearsal in tuxedo tee-shirts because we asked them to dress in semi-formal attire. Crazy, creative pilots...) The invite was for an event they entitled: "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like AWESOME!" Somehow, they decided it would be fun to make it a black tie affair. So the 20+ guests who came all dressed to the nine's - simply because they could. James wore his tuxedo and now-famous two-tone wingtips. I pulled out what I affectionately refer to as my "Jessica Rabbit Dress" (a long, slinky red number...) and miraculously managed to twist my hair up in a fancy knot on top of my head. I brought several plates full of fudge and spiced pretzels that I had made during the week, and James enjoyed sampling the impressive drink menu they had concocted. Over all, it was a good time. Chappy and Ashley were there, as were many other pilots and their significant other's who I enjoyed getting to know better. But after four hours of high class fraternization, I was ready to head home and take off my heels. Unfortunately, my poor feet didn't have much time to recover because there was more holiday celebrating to do the next day...

Saturday night we celebrated our exciting careers.

Saturday night was the official squadron Christmas party on base. We both knew that this stuffy, formal event would hardly compare with the excellent frivolity of the previous night, but I was still really looking forward to it because this party was to be my first official paid photography job. I was contacted a few weeks ago by the squadron commander's wife who asked if I would be willing to take pictures of all of the couples at the party. James and I were already planning to attend, so it was a double bonus for me because I got to earn some money while spending time with friends!

Once again, it was going to be a formal event. I spent a good amount of time debating which of my other dresses to wear, but finally decided that - since I was going to be working that night - I should wear a festive suit instead. We both looked fabulous in our red and white satin attire. I enjoyed getting to take so many pictures and really try out my new zoom lens, but the lighting was so low in the room that I don't think my pictures turned out as well as I would have liked. Hopefully they will be happy enough with my work that I can get a few more jobs out of this new exposure.

Sunday was equally fun, but I can't think of an appropriate celebratory title for it. We went to lunch with the Chapmans and some of their friends. Then we drove up to San Antonio because James had a doctor appointment early Monday morning. Since we were in town, we dropped in on our good friend Ryan Worrell and his girlfriend Lacey. It seems like the only times we get to see them is during large group gatherings, so it was really refreshing to spend a mellow night in with them. Ryan spent a couple of hours making the most amazing lasagna I've ever tasted, and we all marveled at the breathtaking beauty of the Discovery Channel's "Planet Earth" on Blue Ray. You really can't top the quality of those new video players...

By the time we began the drive back to Del Rio on Monday afternoon, I was a very tired but satisfied young lady. After months of frustrating interactions with the military doctors down here, James was finally given a way to help relieve his irregular muscle pain. I got to finish up my holiday shopping in some real stores (because, believe it or not, Walmart does not carry everything I need.) Best of all, I was not at all dreading returning home because I was so tired and partied-out that staying home for a few days actually sounded nice. Also, we have new friends that we can call up if ever we want to do something, and I may get to work more frequently now!

Over all, I think things are starting to look up. I'm happier because good friends really make any place feel more like home, my business is finally picking up, and James is excited to start the next phase pilot training in a couple weeks. We truly have a lot to celebrate this holiday season!

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas!

I have finally finished decorating our apartment for Christmas! I have been looking forward to this all year. James and I decided that, instead of spending the holidays with family, we would have our own little first Christmas. We figured it would be fun to create our own traditions and memories. The only problem is that Del Rio is one of the least Christmassy places I can think of, so I've been overcompensating for that by completely decking our humble halls.

We have a bunch of colored lights up in our outside windows and on our patio. We also have a little hand-me-down wreath on our front door to welcome people inside. I put lighted garlands on the top of our kitchen cabinets and on our little bar counter, which is now serving as our mantle piece. The lights reflect beautifully off of our unused silver and glassware, and create a very elegant look indeed. I've also set our table with our china and best crimson linens. Very festive!!

Of course, the show-stopper is our tree. This is the greatest symbol of our integrated holiday traditions. James always grew up with a real tree, so I agreed that we could try that - so long as I could wrap it in silver tinsel which was always my favorite part of our tree back home. We both agreed that colored lights are best, and I had fun hanging up a collection of ornaments that were given to us from both of our families. We were a bit concerned about the tree when we first got it into place because it ended up being much wider than we anticipated. But now I think it's perfect!

I am really, really enjoying celebrating Christmas so far this year. I think that the frenzied stress of finals made it difficult for me to really experience the joy of holidays while I was in school. But now I have nothing to distract me. Already, James and I have been getting in the spirit by watching all of the Christmas movies on TV and enjoying many steaming cups of hot cocoa with real mini marshmallows. Tonight will mark the second of four holiday get-together's that are scheduled for this week. And I've been filling the house with the sweet and savory smells of baking goodies over the past two days. (Once again I managed to botch up the baking of my beloved fudge. But I've resolved to enjoy it, despite my burned fingers...ha!)

Well, I'm sure I'll have many more stories to tell as we get closer to the big day. For now, I encourage you to try your best to take advantage of all the season has to offer. No - I don't mean in terms of sales and shopping. I mean, cherish the time with family and friends...don't think about your diet when the candy and cookie trays are passed...and every time you are dazzled by the wintery beauty around you, give thanks for the Gift that made this all possible.

Thanksgiving Memories

I have noticed that I am always counting down to something. I suppose it's a habit that I developed during my long distance relationship with James. We always felt the need to count down the days until we would be together again. Now that we are married and the waiting is over, I still feel the need to count down to something. Everyone needs something to look forward to. But it does create some problems once that one thing has passed. For example, I had been looking forward to James' and my trip out to Louisville for Thanksgiving for months. I couldn't wait to see my family again and introduce those who couldn't make it out to the wedding to my wonderful husband. But now that the trip is over and we're back at home in Del Rio, I'm plagued with that nagging question of: "What now?"

Already, some of the specific details of the trip are fading... But we made a lot of wonderful memories that I know we will treasure for years.

I remember that James and I got some KFC for dinner and watched the movie 'Elizabethtown' in our hotel the night before flying out to Kentucky. That was our little way of preparing for the journey.

I remember looking out the window of my grandparent's car on the way home from the airport and noting how different the familiar landscape is in the winter. Can you believe that, in my 22 years of being a part of this family, I have only ever been out there to visit in the summer time? The tree tunnels that hang over the winding roads leading to their house seemed much less impressive without any leaves.

I remember how great it felt greeting everyone at the top of the stairs once we got to the house. It was especially nice seeing my parents again. I could tell they were really excited to see me. (And, I suppose it was nice seeing my brother again...) Everyone was so warm and inviting, and I greatly appreciated how well they treated James. There was no question that he was a part of the family.

I remember spending the afternoon alone with my granddad while everyone else went out shopping on Tuesday. He told us many stories about himself and how he met my grandmother. I know he was worried that he bored us to tears with all the information, but we really did enjoy learning more about our family history. He has put together a book of pictures and memoirs from his life called "Across Eight Decades". What a luxury - to have all these stories preserved for future generations!! It makes me wonder what kinds of stories I'll have to tell my kids and grandkids someday...

I remember playing many games with all of my cousins over the course of the week. I think they realized early on that James is a very smart man who enjoys competition. There were very few games he did not win, when he chose to play. As annoying as that was for the rest of us, I was proud of him for it. He certainly made a good impression on my relatives!

I remember going to the Louisville Slugger Museum with my immediate family - something I have been wanting to do with James since I learned about his passion for baseball. I enjoyed seeing how excited and interested he was in everything we saw and learned. I didn't know much about any of the people or events that are memorialized there, but it certainly meant something to my husband and so the trip was a meaningful one for me as well.

I remember walking around outside in the sunshine on Thanksgiving day and taking portraits of all of my cousins. This was something I had been wanting to do ever since we decided to make the trip, and I was so glad that they were all willing to model for me. I just don't get to take as many photos in Del Rio as I would like, and so it would have been worth the effort, even if the pictures didn't turn out as well as they did. Everyone was very impressed with the work I did, and that meant the world to me because it helped renew my confidence in my craft. Hopefully I will be able to use my new lens to stir up more work opportunities in the next few months.

I remember Thanksgiving dinner, and how great all of the food was. Even though the turkey wasn't finished cooking until after everyone was too full to eat another bite, it was a spectacular meal. My grandmother seemed to think that the mix-up in baking time ruined the meal, but I think it's a huge credit to her cooking that we were more than satisfied with side dishes. There was never a lack of food during the entire week, and I can honestly say that, as married people, James and I have never eaten so well.

Finally, I remember having to say good bye to everyone, which was very difficult for me. It's especially hard to say good bye to my grandparents, since I never know if it will be for the last time. It certainly didn't help that we had to listen to my grandmother's funeral music right before walking out the door. (I guess she asked my parents to write an arrangement of her favorite hymns, and they wanted to show her what they had written.) But I consoled myself over a late night White Castle cheeseburger that, at least we had an amazing week together as a family. We took advantage of every opportunity to be together and make memories. If this is it, then it's a great end. But I do hope there will be many more fun and crazy, laughter-filled visits to come.

Now that the trip is complete, it's time to find something else to look forward to. Good thing Christmas is coming up. That will keep me occupied for the next few weeks. =^)

Something I Miss...

It struck me tonight as I was listening to one of my new favorite movie soundtracks that there is something I really, really miss about my home in Colorado. It's not the privacy of my old room or driving "my" Jeep or even the freedom from doing the dishes every day (although I do miss those things on occasion.) No, what I miss the most was being able to sit down at the piano and play whenever the mood took me.

Music is really important in my immediate family. My parents are both professional musicians and my brother is rapidly following in their footsteps. While I also love and am very moved by music, I've never enjoyed performing in front of others so I didn't really pursue it like they did. I think I may have been able to read music before I could read English, and therefore I suppose I could have been a very accomplished pianist like my mom if I'd tried. But my taste in music was limited to songs from movies so I got bored with the traditional path of a musical education really fast (scales? Classical music? "Bach - humbug!") I was also really uncomfortable with piano recitals and so, sometime around the 6th grade, I stopped taking formal lessons so I wouldn't have to participate. (Not that my mom would have made me if I'd flat out refused to be put on the program...I suppose I figured this was an easier way out. Strange how stupid our choices seem in retrospect.)

Even though I stopped my formal lessons, I never quit playing. I got to the point where I could sight read almost anything and so I would pick out my own pieces and play them when I felt like it (usually when no one was around). For me, it was a personal form of expression. Whenever a particularly strong mood would take me, I'd sit down at the keyboard and let my emotions flow through my fingers. Music always expresses feelings more accurately than words. I'm not a very technically proficient pianist - I tend to ignore the rules of music theory and rhythm. But I do kind of pride myself on my expression. I may really mess up the way the composer wrote a piece, but it will still sound great because I make it my own and play it however I think it should be played. (As a side note - my writing is very similar. I'm an atrocious speller and never really took the time to memorize proper grammar {as I'm sure you have all noticed} but I'm often praised on my creative word choice and unique "voice".)

So, tonight as I'm sitting here listening to some of my favorite and most emotionally evocative melodies, I am gripped with that familiar desire to tickle the ivories. Only I can't, because we don't have a piano. Even if we had the money to afford one, we don't have the space. It's so frustrating because, if there was ever a time for me to really sit down to practice and work on becoming a better musician, it would be now. I have hours of free time and a completely empty apartment building to myself all day. It's unfortunate that I didn't realize till just now what a luxury it was having a perfectly maintained grand piano in my living room for 21 years.

I guess I'll just have to add that to my already-too-long list of expensive things that I would like to have, and keep my fingers occupied on my computer keyboard instead.

The Flakes...

I was reflecting on the long, drawn-out, sweaty affair that was my high school graduation today, and I realized something quite interesting. I don't know who it was that put together the program... They were clearly not someone who had to attend the ceremony, because no one in their right mind would do that to themselves. (Although, I suppose it is possible that they were not in the right mind. But I digress...) You see, in addition to the 500+ names that had to be read out, we had to sit through something like 13 speeches and three musical performances, all in the stifling hot Field House on the Air Force Academy base. It was miserable.

Of course, I have many happy memories from that day. But I wondered if I could remember anything from all of the terribly boring but (I'm sure) well-meant rambling. Of the two hours of talking, I remember two half-sentences. That's terrible. However, these two snipets of thought are very personally significant so I suppose I walked away from that day with what I needed.

First, I remember the principal mentioning that someone from our class had won an Emmy. I was both extremely proud of having done something noteworthy, and extremely irritated that he didn't think it was necessary to mention my name. Second, I remember that my good friend Molly was the class elected speaker and talked about snowflakes and how they are all small but unique. I remember that, at the end of her speech, she said:

"...So find yourself among the flakes."

I suppose it caught my memory because it was so witty. Yes, she was talking about snowflakes... But she was also commenting on how so many people in the world are adrift and purposeless and, therefore, flakes. That was just like Molly. She had a wonderfully sarcastic sense of humor (probably why we got along so well.) But, she deserved the highly coveted spot as our class speaker because the thought is very insightful for a high schooler. I remember feeling bad that her speech was kind of overshadowed by all the other boring talks. BUT, it felt great to write her a message earlier today and tell her that hers was the only one that stuck with me.

"Find yourself among the flakes." Find what it is that makes you unique and embrace it. I think I'm painfully and joyfully aware of what it is that sets me apart from those around me. However, I do not yet feel that I've fully put it to use. The "real" or "adult" world has barely scratched the surface of the mack truck that is Kimberly Zuercher Wentzel. I am a uniquely designed little snowflake who is still floating in space...hesitant to land and establish myself in any one place just yet. I guess I'm waiting to find the place where I'll make the biggest impact...the one small push that will start an avalanche.

Right now I don't see what that would be here in Del Rio. I have looked on my own and failed to find something meaningful to do while I'm here. So, I'm finally going to give up and do what I should have been doing all along: handing the reigns over to the One who is capable of making something of my uneventful life. So, be praying for me as I open myself up to whatever it is that God wants me to be doing right now. After all, He put us in Del Rio for a reason. I'm just still at a loss for what that is.

If you have any ideas or insights to offer, I'm all ears. I need all the help I can get!

Reading

I have always maintained that one of my biggest passions is for great stories. Even when I was a baby, I was captivated by movies and books. I now extend the category to include music and artwork because I believe they also tell stories. Even so...there are very few things that thrill me more than curling up and diving into a good book.

While I was in school, I used to look forward to holiday breaks because I would finally have the time to read something I wanted to read, rather than something that was assigned. I'd lock myself in my room for a few days and immerse myself in the world of my favorite storybook characters...seeing as they saw, feeling as they felt, and experiencing far more than I ever could on my own in my short lifetime. I often get so emotionally attached to the characters and their environments that it pains me to put the book down because it means I have to return to reality. It's an unfortunate dichotomy that we rush through good books because we can't put them down, but in the end we wish they would have lasted longer because it was so enjoyable.

The last six months have been like a very long holiday break for me. Because I am no longer in school, I have all the time and freedom in the world to read whatever I want to. Consequently, I've been going through books like kleenex. I've read 17 books since the wedding, and am currently waiting for the FedEx guy to get here so I can start another one this afternoon.

One of the fun and unexpected side effects of my voracious reading habits of late is that I have gotten James into reading as well. He was like many young men these days in that he was not particularly interested in reading - for fun or otherwise. However, he reads almost as much as I do these days. We've gone through several series together and enjoy discussing what's going on and postulating what will happen next.

Right now we're hopelessly hooked on the 'Twilight' series by Stephenie Meyer. I kept hearing about these books over the summer but wasn't sure if it was really for me. People like to equate the series to 'Harry Potter', in that it's a young adult fantasy series. However, the subject matter is quite different. Supposedly it was a 'Romeo and Juliet' type romance - with vampires and werewolves. If you're raising your eyebrows or otherwise scoffing, I completely understand. I'm not a big fan of vampire stories (or any kind of horror/monster movie kind of thing...) But I had heard nothing but good things about them...and the movie adaptation of the first book comes out in theaters in a couple of weeks so I figured it would be worth checking out...just to see what all the hubbub is about.

I purchased the first book when we were in San Antonio last weekend, and finally got around to picking it up on Thursday. Buying only the first book was a bad move on my part because - OF COURSE - we fell in love with the story and both flew through all 500 pages in less than 36 hours. (Understand that, in order to do that, we had to switch off...so I could have finished it in less than a day if I had the book to myself. It was SO hard to surrender my new treasure every few hours so he could catch up!!) James and I immediately went out to the local book store to get the next 3 books in the series. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to have almost all of the English copies be sold out, but to see all 4 books available in the Libros en Espanol section. grr. Luckily we found a copy of the second book and could get rush delivery on the last two through Amazon.com (hence my waiting for the FedEx truck to arrive!!)

Now, you may be asking yourself, how in the world could we have fallen so quickly and irrationally in love with a vampire story? That's ridiculous. You may be right...but it happened regardless. You see, 'Twilight' is written in first person, from the perspective of a teenage girl who is very much like myself. And as she starts to fall for this handsome and mysterious young man at her new high school, you get swept up in her thoughts and feelings and find yourself as anxious for their relationship to progress as she is. The book is a brilliant character study, and therein lies its appeal. You quickly come to know and care about each person you encounter, and are gripped with page-turning suspense as they weave themselves into a tangled web of passion and danger.

Well...I just got a phone call that books 3 and 4 are waiting for me at the front office so I'm going to go!! If any of you are interested in hearing more...or have read them yourselves...let me know! Not nearly done gushing...haha.

A National Test of Faith

Well...the election is finally over. James and I were really irritated by the never ending stream of McCain-bashing from the liberal media, and were really looking forward to it coming to an end. It was to the point that I figured the relief that comes with being able to move on would far outweigh my feelings about who actually won. However, I don't think I was really prepared to hear the news that Obama will be our next Commander-in-Chief. I knew it was going to be close, and that it was fairly likely he would win...but I did not expect him to win by such a large margin. I think I was more upset by the fact that Colorado went blue than I was about McCain losing. What is the world coming to??

Obama claims to be the voice for change and I guess we must concede that things are indeed changing. People are fixating on the fact that we have finally elected a black president. I, however,  am more interested in the number of young people who came out to vote. All the major news networks kept speculating whether that number would increase for this election. But anyone who spends any amount of time on Facebook or MySpace would have known beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was true. Of the hundreds of people I'm in contact with online, there are only a couple of people who said they were NOT going to vote. The only thing I can think of that would have significantly changed the political landscape in Colorado in only four years is that all of the college students (especially from CU Boulder) choose to vote. It must have been similar all over the country.

I think the next few months will be a big test of faith for many of us. I'll admit I was one of the people who have been praying that God will put the right man for the job in office. But now that He's made His choice, I find I'm having a hard time trusting His judgement. (Typical problem for me.) However, I do respect what Obama had to say after the announcement was made. We may have been divided during the campaign season, but now that the votes are in, it's time for us to put aside our differences and work together to overcome the myriad of problems we're facing. Let's hope that Obama will act in good faith and keep his promises.

A Much Needed Break

This weekend James and I were finally able to get out of Del Rio for a couple days and it felt wonderful! We always feel so limited by the stores and restaurants here in town so it was nice to finally, properly, GO OUT. We spent Saturday afternoon shopping and spending the last of our wedding gift cards on lots of fun things for the apartment. Saturday night we went out to dinner at a swanky sports bar so we could watch the Texas Tech vs. U. Texas game with James' closest friends and their girlfriends. After all the excitement it felt amazing to retire in one of the luxury suites at Randolf AFB. And, finally, we had a leisurely brunch on Sunday morning with our friends at Panera Bread before making the long drive back.

It was really only a 24 hour mini-vacation but it was so needed. Just being able to change it up and do something exciting has really improved my mood and I know it did the same for James. Of course, my favorite part of the weekend was finally being able to cut my hair after struggling for a few weeks to find a quality salon in Del Rio. Now I feel fresh and rejuvenated and am very much looking forward to our up-coming big vacation to Louisville for my family reunion over Thanksgiving!

October Glow

For the past few weeks I've been super excited about carving a pumpkin for Halloween. I don't really know why... I suppose that while I was in college, holidays were never properly celebrated because I was so busy. (And, I guess, because all college students typically do on holidays is get wasted, which isn't really my idea of fun.) But now that I'm an adult and have money and my own place, I can actually decorate and have fun and create some holiday traditions for our new little family. =^)

Yesterday, we went to the grocery store and picked out two pumpkins. (I got a little one because I thought it was cute!) We also got a cheap carving kit, a couple of candles to put inside, and a pumpkin pie that we can enjoy while we hand out candy to trick-or-treaters on Friday night. I've also been scouring the TV guide for any fun (not scary) Halloween movies that we can DVR and watch throughout the week. So far we've watched 'The Mummy", Tim Burton's "The Corpse Bride" and "Hocus Pocus".

Of course, being the crazy, creative types that we are, we were not satisfied with merely carving goofy faces on our pumpkins. No, we spent several minutes on the computer designing our own patterns with tracing paper, and then spent the better part of the afternoon meticulously etching them onto our orange palates. I chose to do the Harry Potter logo because it was simple enough to do on a small surface but still relates to movies and has a Halloween-ish feel. James on the other hand did a stunningly shaded cut-out of an F-16 fighter jet on the front of his. I can't believe that he pulled it off...but I suppose that, if any one could do it, he could! I can't wait to light them up on Friday and see everyone's reaction. Now our only problem will be figuring out how to top that next year!

Making The Best of Things...

James and I have been talking a lot over the past couple weeks about how we can make the most of our time down here in Del Rio. We are both sick of the city and how little it has to offer. So far we've been fairly successful about finding ways to amuse ourselves, but the novelty of having copious free time has certainly worn off. We're both feeling stuck - as if we have no purpose during the day. He has been sitting around for nine months waiting for his training to resume, and I feel weighed down by my constant inactivity. You know it's bad when you get excited about walking across the street to check the mail because it means you get to leave your apartment, if only for a couple minutes.

We've talked about it, and it's just not practical for me to get a job right now because we only have one vehicle and, due to the unpredictable nature of James' schedule, I can't rely on him for rides. I'm still trying to do the whole photography thing but, while they may seem interested in what I do at the time they meet me, people do not seem interested enough to pay me for my services. It's very frustrating.

Because I can't work right now, I've turned to other things in search of something fulfilling to do. James and I have joined a couple's Bible Study on Sunday nights which is going really well and is definitely the highlight of my week. James has suggested I take advantage of all this free time and focus on writing. We've been tossing around some ideas for topics to pursue but I haven't found the right thing to dive into just yet. It may be a screen play or a book or a memoir. I guess you'll have to stay tuned for more on that...

One good thing that has come of this ravenous desire to do something productive each day is that I've started exercising again. When I was in school I could walk three miles with a heavy bag on my back and not feel a thing, but this summer (partially due to the heat and partially due to my messed-up feet) I quit taking regular walks. I never really worry about my weight, but I quickly "got out of shape" to the point where it was a chore to walk up the stairs that lead to our apartment. As luck would have it, I finally got to the point where I can wear closed-toed shoes earlier this month and the weather has cooled down to a manageable 75 or 80 degrees during the day. Consequently, I have made a commitment to go out and walk a little bit every day. Already I've gotten to the point where I can walk between one and two miles before I need to quit!

There is a little park near our apartment complex where I go to walk in the mornings. It's not much to look at... just a paved oval that runs for a half-mile around some natural Texas landscaping (meaning dry, prickly brown stuff). However, the more time I've spent out there, the more I've come to appreciate it. It's surrounded by houses on each side, but during the day it's very quiet because everyone is at work or school. Right now, the weather is gorgeous (warm sunshine with a cool breeze) and I try to stay out as long as my muscles will allow just so I can drink it all in. Thankfully it's too late in the season for mosquitoes, but there are a ton of little grasshoppers and butterflies that keep me company. And although the landscape as a whole is unremarkable, there are little patches of yellow flowers and bright green cacti that always draw my attention and make me smile.

I was reflecting on all this yesterday during a particularly long walk, and realized that this park is a lot like Del Rio itself. It's often overlooked except by those who already know where it is. It's small, simple, and generally unremarkable as far as parks go, but if you spend some time there, you'll notice it has some modest charm. Because it's just a big loop, it can seem monotonous and repetitive. But there are little bursts of color and life that can spice up your walk if you take the time to look. It's often the small things that make the difference, so although James and I are very much looking forward to a change of scenery, we're committed to making the most of Del Rio while we're here.

Good Bye

Well, the time that James and I have been dreading for a long time is finally here. This week we had to say good bye to two of the couples we spend a lot of time with. Nick and Kristyn Szala, and Sam and Jen Robertson were newlyweds who lived in our apartment complex so, naturally, we hung out a lot. James, Nick, and Sam got to know each other while in pilot training and made it a point to try and get together so their new wives would make friends. Kristyn and I really bonded and made it a point to hang out at least once a week (usually to watch Project Runway and eat gummy bears every Wednesday night.)

Unfortunately, both Nick and Sam are F-15 pilots (unlike James who will fly an F-16) and were unexpectedly ordered to leave for their next assignment in Florida. It's crazy because we knew they would be moving before we did since they're on a different time table, but we were all kind of shocked when the Air Force decided to have them report two months early. They were extremely busy with everything that needed to be done for the move, but we made sure to spend some quality time together when they had time. We hung out with Sam and Jen before they moved last week, and then had Nick and Kristyn over for dinner last night before they left this morning.

It's a shame that pretty much all of the lady friends I've made down here will not be continuing on with us in the F-16 track. They are either older and married to Instructor Pilots, or their husbands are in the heavy community and will go on to fly transport planes. Most of the other F-16 pilots we know are single guys. They're a lot of fun to hang out with at parties or as a small group, but that's definitely not the same as having a girlfriend to hang out with on my own.

I suppose that's just the way of the Air Force...you arrive at a new place and make friends, then you move again and make new friends - all the while trying to hang onto the old ones. On the one hand, it's great because you get to meet all kinds of people, travel all over the world, and you never have an opportunity to get stuck in a rut because you are perpetually having to start over. However, you never get to really settle in and it kind of puts a strain on your relationships.

It's interesting looking back on your life and seeing all the small things that God has used to prepare you for the challenges of your future. The thought of marrying into the military never crossed my mind growing up, and yet I was conditioned for the lifestyle all the same. I may not have moved as much as an army brat, but we did live in four different houses while I was growing up and I attended 6 different schools (in the same city - before college). As much as I loathe letting people go and having to start all over, I've learned how to cope with it thanks to my dad's real estate career. I still have a really hard time getting up the courage to go out and meet new people, and I will always hate having to saying good bye, but because the Lord knows this about me He's given me the strength and experience to make it through. Life is never easy, and God likes to challenge us so we grow, but He will never throw something at us that we can't handle.

I did not enjoy saying good bye to my new friends this week, but instead of moping around I suppose I should look at it as an opportunity for growth and be thankful that - no matter how many times I have to say good bye - I'll never lose my most important Friend.

Fireproof

This weekend James and I went to the movies. We haven't been in a long while because our little Del Rio theater has not been playing anything good in recent weeks. However, we really wanted to find something fun to do outside of the apartment, so I spent some time researching the movies that are playing. There was only one that seemed doable - a Christian film I'd briefly heard of called "Fireproof". I was skeptical at first, but am very glad we went.

"Fireproof" is Kirk Cameron's latest stab at cinematic evangelism - aimed at married couples who are struggling with what it means to love unconditionally. The concept is that Cameron's character, Caleb, is a fireman who loves what he does and would run into a burning building to save a stranger. However, refuses to make any attempt to save his own marriage. When he and his wife finally start the process of getting a divorce, Caleb's dad steps in and dares him to try loving his wife unconditionally for forty days before signing any papers. As time goes on, it becomes clear that Caleb will forever be incapable of loving anyone but himself until he brings himself to accept the love and grace of his Heavenly Father.

Now - I'm not gonna lie. The movie starts out really rough. It's obvious that the film was made on a low budget with a strong evangelical agenda. Some of the conversations were designed to be teaching tools and, therefore, feel very unnatural. Once you relax your critical eye and allow yourself to be swept up in the story, however, the whole experience becomes very emotional and impacting. They have some pretty hard-hitting points that are not quickly forgotten, and I laughed, cried, and cheered in spite of myself.

I'd definitely recommend the movie to anyone who is married, or plans on getting married in the near future. Even if you think your marriage is just fine, I think "Fireproof" will give you a new perspective on how intimately linked your faith and your ability to love your spouse are. It's also a huge encouragement for those who are struggling in any way. At one point, Caleb is talking with his best friend at the fire department, trying to explain why his marriage failed. He says that it was inevitable because: "Marriage isn't fireproof." His friend just shakes his head knowingly and replies:

"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means that when the fire comes, you will be able to withstand it."

I think the movie really digs into a lot of the reasons marriages don't last very long in our culture. First and foremost, we have lost our faith in, and fear of, God - and don't even try to conform to His perfect design for marriage. Second, we stop putting effort into our relationships as soon as we say "I Do". We quit listening to and serving our spouses, and assume we no longer need to take time to get to know them. Finally, we allow harmful distractions and addictions to steal our time, money and attention away from the person who should be at the top of our list of priorities. I was impressed that the film even tackled the sticky issue of pornography and how that can rip a marriage apart.

The coolest thing about the movie is that the guidebook Caleb uses during his 40 day quest to repair his message is available to purchase. It's called "The Love Dare" and is full of beautiful daily devotions that helps teach you about loving people unconditionally. I'm pretty tempted to get a copy for myself so James and I can work through it, then pass it on. (It's less than $9 if you get it through the movie website: http://www.fireproofmarriage.com.)

If you have an opportunity to see the movie, I'd definitely recommend it. I promise you won't regret it.

My Trip to SIU

After long weeks of preparation, I finally made my trip out to SIU last week. It seems like I've been planning and preparing for this for months, and all of the sudden it was time to pack my bags and go!

The trip out there was pretty rough because I caught a nasty cold right before leaving that made me feel really weak and ill and generally uncomfortable while traveling. But I was so blessed to have a couple friends who picked me up and took good care of me on the drive from St. Louis to Carbondale. My friend Leann was especially generous. She not only drove me around all week, but fed me and housed me and helped me do everything that needed to be done in preparation for the retreat. She is very much responsible for my enjoyment and comfort over the 6 day trip.

On Thursday and Friday I got to walk around on campus, visit friends

and take care of some important business at the records office. It was great to be back in the Communications Building, seeing old teachers and classmates and telling them about my wedding and all I've been up to since graduating. I also really enjoyed having lunch in the Student Center and taking a walk around campus lake. These were all things I loved doing while I was at school, and at some points while walking around, I felt like I'd never left.

Thursday night I gave the first of my two talks to Intervarsity. I was really nervous because I have never really given a long talk like this before, and I was still trying to get over that cold which meant my voice was not 100%. At one point, it sounded like the video clip from "The Bucket List" that I was relying on to illustrate the central theme of the talk wasn't going to play. Thankfully, everything went smoothly and everyone seemed to enjoy what I had to say. Afterward, I decided we needed to celebrate so my friends took me out to Steak 'n Shake (my favorite Carbondale restaurant).

The retreat started on Friday night and ran through Sunday afternoon. I was so excited to have the chance to participate - not only because I got to speak, but because I felt like I, too, was on a spiritual retreat and was challenged to grow like all the other students were. Each of the speakers had a different topic that they introduced as a way for students to thrive in college, and none of them were light subjects. Whether it was talking about lordship, using the spiritual disciplines to grow in your faith, authentic Christian community, or evangelism on campus, we really pushed these kids to "move beyond surface living into the depths" (Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline).

My talk went really, really well (much better than I expected). The other leaders especially appreciated the fact that I tried to concentrate on our IV chapter and what the students can and should be doing on campus, rather than just delivering a nebulous talk about general Christian principles. I'm hoping to get a recording of the talk somehow... But if that doesn't work I can email the written-out version of the talk to you. (It's about 8 pages single spaced so hopefully you can listen to it instead of having to read that craziness.)

Saturday afternoon we had a 3 hour retreat of silence where we spread out throughout the camp grounds and spent some quality time with God.

This was honestly what I was most looking forward to because I always feel like I get a lot out of the reading and praying I usually do during a retreat of silence. However, I realized that I have all the time in the world in Del Rio to sit and read, and decided instead to go outside and walk around the lake on the grounds. I took my camera with me and spent an hour or so wandering around and worshiping God in nature. There were so many grand things - like the expansive blue lake, or the gigantic trees. And in between all of these big things were tiny things that are equally beautiful, like these little purple flowers. God's creation really is exquisite! Only when my legs got unavoidably sore did I return to the lodge to read and reflect on all I had learned.

After the retreat of silence we had a long period of free time. I was very tempted to go sleep for a couple of hours because living the college lifestyle again was really wearing me out, but I decided my time would be better spent making relationships with people. So I got involved in a crazy game of Scattergories with some of the freshman. Later that night we got our fill of church camp madness as we held our own version of "Fear Factor" and watched in disgust as six brave volunteers ate some truly revolting "foods". Finally, after Saturday night's discussion, we all headed out to the woods and ate smores around a bonfire.

I was really sad when the retreat was over on Sunday because it meant it was time for me to leave all my friends behind and begin my trek back to

Del Rio. I did make sure to run around and take a lot of pictures with all of my friends, and I was even commissioned to take the traditional large group photo right before we left. There are still so many people out there that I care about a lot, and I am hoping that I will get invited back again. Patrick (the head of our chapter) made sure to pull me aside before I left and told me that he really thinks I have a gift for teaching and hopes I'll continue to seek out opportunities to use it. O=^)

Because my plane was leaving early on Monday morning, I decided it would be a good idea to make the two and a half hour drive up to St. Louis

on Sunday afternoon, and allow myself a little bit more sleep in the morning. My friend Will Strang (from film school) has a condo in on the Mississippi and offered to let me stay the night with his family, and then drive me to the airport the next morning. The only catch was that I had to find a ride up there. So a bunch of my buddies and I road-tripped it up there and spent the evening eating and laughing together. Those guys were some of the closest friends I had in college (to the point that we refer to ourselves as a "film family") and so it was wonderful getting to spend some quality time with them again.

By the time my plane took off, I was ready to go home. Even though I was only gone for 6 days, I missed my husband terribly and was looking forward to getting back to my normal routine. He was wonderful and surprised me when I got off the plane with a big bouquet of roses and a bag of my favorite Dove chocolates. (I'm so lucky!!)

The question now is - what's next? No answer as of right now...but stay tuned.

Pilot for a Day

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to go out to the base and take pictures for a charity event they were doing called "Pilot for a Day". Normally this is something the base contracted photographers would have been called in to do, but because it was a graduation day they were already booked. Luckily, James heard the man in charge talking about the predicament and said that I could do it. Thus, I was hired for my first professional shoot!

"Pilot for a Day" gives a little boy or girl the chance to come into the squadron and spend a day learning what it's like to be a pilot. My understanding is that a lot of times these kids have some kind of special need which makes the day a very exciting and emotional time for the whole family. Our little pilot was a five year old girl named Alexia who was born with paralyzed vocal chords and recently underwent surgery to help correct the problem. Obviously she couldn't say much throughout the day and was very shy, but we could tell that she was enjoying herself.

It was a full day but I think everyone involved had a great time. 

The family was welcomed by the Squadron Commander early yesterday morning over a complimentary breakfast in the Heritage Room (aka - the bar). It was so cute because they had laid out a tiny flight suit for Alexia which had all of the T-38 patches on it as well as her own custom name tag. Then we took a tour of the squad and introduced her to a lot of pilots who, she was told, were working for her today. Even the guys were "ooing" and "awwing" over this itty bitty fighter pilot!

After that we took a van ride over to the fire station where we met Sparky 

the Dog and got to see how the firemen and their trucks work. Alexia and her little sister got to try on a fireman jacket and helmet, sit in the truck, and squirt water out of the mechanized nozzle on the front.

Next we went over to RAPCON and saw how air traffic control keeps track of all of the planes in the area, and then climbed up to the Control Tower to get a full view of the jets taking off and landing. This part of the tour was particularly exciting for me and the other pilots accompanying us because even we had never been up in that area before. Quite a day for everyone involved!

Finally, we went back to the squadron and had all of the pilots assemble for some photos in front of the planes. This was the most nerve wracking part for me because suddenly they were expecting me to direct all these guys to where they should be standing, and get the required shots for the photo collage we were going to present to the family at the end of the day. I was frustrated because I wasn't exactly sure what they wanted, and no one could hear me yelling over the noise of the planes. Not sure I made a great impression at that moment, but we got the shots and everyone seemed to be thrilled with the prints.

It was during this time that I took my favorite picture. Each pilot has what is called a "Hero Shot" taken by a plane before they graduate from training. I had the opportunity to take Alexia's Hero Shot that day and it turned out really, really well. We sat her up on the wing and had her give us a big thumbs up. The wind was blowing and she was finally smiling and it was magic on film.

Around that time the family headed off for lunch and then the flight simulator, which were things I didn't necessarily need to be there for, so another pilot and I rushed to HEB to get the pictures printed for her collage. I had a hard time deciding on which ones to use, but eventually we got the prints, picked up the frame from the frame shop, and miraculously managed to put everything together in time for the farewell ceremony. Her family seemed so appreciative of all the work I did and asked for a CD of all of the pictures so they can print more. Even the other pilots were impressed so hopefully I'll get some more work out of this deal!

More than anything, it was wonderful being able to be a part of making this brave little girl feel special for a day. She and her sisters were so well behaved and really seemed to enjoy themselves and I hope that more families will have the opportunity to be blessed like this in the future.

What's for dinner?

One of the many things I love about my husband is his eagerness to serve. Every day around 4:30 or 5, we ask the same question: "What's for dinner?" Usually I have some sort of idea and, an hour or so later we share a wonderful meal. But occasionally, on days like today when I'm feeling rather lazy, I'll say that I don't know and don't really have the energy to come up with something. Instead of complaining or heading out to pick up some fast food, my man hopped up and went to the kitchen and creatively put together one of the best meals I've had in a while. True, it was rather amusing watching him use almost every pot we own to make one meal...and hearing him discover some basic cooking no-no's along the way... But seeing his joy and pride as he served me that steaming plate of pasta, chicken, rice, homemade garlic bread and spiced green beans felt so wonderful, and it tasted even better!. AND - as an added cherry on top of the sundae of AWESOME that is my husband - he even offered to do the dishes. I am truly blessed. =^) 

Thrive

Today I've been working a lot on the talk I'll be giving at the Intervarsity Fall Retreat in a couple weeks. The theme of the weekend is learning to thrive in college - going beyond the norm and spiritually growing and...well...thriving. I've been doing all kinds of research while preparing for this talk...reading various scriptures and books and online articles. Most of them were very helpful. However, I was browsing through some random quotes today about the value of a college education and came across one that struck me as very pointless and stupid.

"If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing...you have a college degree." ~ Author Unknown

Shocking that someone didn't want to sign their name to that one.

But, the more I thought about it, I was forced to admit that the quote is actually pretty insightful. All a college degree really is is a fancy piece of paper stating that you have studied a subject for several hours. Even with a diploma in hand, you're probably not qualified or prepared to get the job you really want, and it certainly doesn't mean you learned anything or grew as a person while at that institution.

I think it's kind of sad, in retrospect, how much emphasis high school counselors, teachers and parents put on getting into "the right school" and choosing a major. Yes, it's important to get an education and to think seriously about what you want to do with your life. But if I've learned anything from my years at SIU, it's that college is about so much more than just going to class.

I think this is especially true for young Christians. I can't tell you how many times I heard people in my high school youth group talk about how they were "still trying to figure out where God wanted them to go for college." It's like they think they have to go to one specific college and study one thing in order to go on and fulfill God's purpose for their life. I'll admit I was definitely of that persuasion when I was that age. I was convinced that God was calling me to go to film school and then move out to Hollywood and make thought-provoking Blockbusters that would help inspire people on a global scale (and, maybe while I was out there, I'd meet some handsome actor or rock star who'd sweep me off my feet and {after I'd won an Oscar} we could live happily ever after). Well, I got my degree just like I planned. But now that I've graduated, things are much, MUCH different than I envisioned. I'm married to an Air Force fighter pilot, living in a tiny town on the Mexican border, and I'm currently unemployed.

In God's eyes, does that mean I failed?

Hardly. One of the most profound lessons I've learned recently is that we are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS, and what God cares about more than anything is how genuinely we pursue our relationship with Him and with those He puts in our path. Judging by how far I've come from the time I graduated high school to now, I'd say that my college experience was a huge success. I didn't just survive college and earn a degree - I allowed God to show me how to spiritually and relationally thrive.