October Glow

For the past few weeks I've been super excited about carving a pumpkin for Halloween. I don't really know why... I suppose that while I was in college, holidays were never properly celebrated because I was so busy. (And, I guess, because all college students typically do on holidays is get wasted, which isn't really my idea of fun.) But now that I'm an adult and have money and my own place, I can actually decorate and have fun and create some holiday traditions for our new little family. =^)

Yesterday, we went to the grocery store and picked out two pumpkins. (I got a little one because I thought it was cute!) We also got a cheap carving kit, a couple of candles to put inside, and a pumpkin pie that we can enjoy while we hand out candy to trick-or-treaters on Friday night. I've also been scouring the TV guide for any fun (not scary) Halloween movies that we can DVR and watch throughout the week. So far we've watched 'The Mummy", Tim Burton's "The Corpse Bride" and "Hocus Pocus".

Of course, being the crazy, creative types that we are, we were not satisfied with merely carving goofy faces on our pumpkins. No, we spent several minutes on the computer designing our own patterns with tracing paper, and then spent the better part of the afternoon meticulously etching them onto our orange palates. I chose to do the Harry Potter logo because it was simple enough to do on a small surface but still relates to movies and has a Halloween-ish feel. James on the other hand did a stunningly shaded cut-out of an F-16 fighter jet on the front of his. I can't believe that he pulled it off...but I suppose that, if any one could do it, he could! I can't wait to light them up on Friday and see everyone's reaction. Now our only problem will be figuring out how to top that next year!

Making The Best of Things...

James and I have been talking a lot over the past couple weeks about how we can make the most of our time down here in Del Rio. We are both sick of the city and how little it has to offer. So far we've been fairly successful about finding ways to amuse ourselves, but the novelty of having copious free time has certainly worn off. We're both feeling stuck - as if we have no purpose during the day. He has been sitting around for nine months waiting for his training to resume, and I feel weighed down by my constant inactivity. You know it's bad when you get excited about walking across the street to check the mail because it means you get to leave your apartment, if only for a couple minutes.

We've talked about it, and it's just not practical for me to get a job right now because we only have one vehicle and, due to the unpredictable nature of James' schedule, I can't rely on him for rides. I'm still trying to do the whole photography thing but, while they may seem interested in what I do at the time they meet me, people do not seem interested enough to pay me for my services. It's very frustrating.

Because I can't work right now, I've turned to other things in search of something fulfilling to do. James and I have joined a couple's Bible Study on Sunday nights which is going really well and is definitely the highlight of my week. James has suggested I take advantage of all this free time and focus on writing. We've been tossing around some ideas for topics to pursue but I haven't found the right thing to dive into just yet. It may be a screen play or a book or a memoir. I guess you'll have to stay tuned for more on that...

One good thing that has come of this ravenous desire to do something productive each day is that I've started exercising again. When I was in school I could walk three miles with a heavy bag on my back and not feel a thing, but this summer (partially due to the heat and partially due to my messed-up feet) I quit taking regular walks. I never really worry about my weight, but I quickly "got out of shape" to the point where it was a chore to walk up the stairs that lead to our apartment. As luck would have it, I finally got to the point where I can wear closed-toed shoes earlier this month and the weather has cooled down to a manageable 75 or 80 degrees during the day. Consequently, I have made a commitment to go out and walk a little bit every day. Already I've gotten to the point where I can walk between one and two miles before I need to quit!

There is a little park near our apartment complex where I go to walk in the mornings. It's not much to look at... just a paved oval that runs for a half-mile around some natural Texas landscaping (meaning dry, prickly brown stuff). However, the more time I've spent out there, the more I've come to appreciate it. It's surrounded by houses on each side, but during the day it's very quiet because everyone is at work or school. Right now, the weather is gorgeous (warm sunshine with a cool breeze) and I try to stay out as long as my muscles will allow just so I can drink it all in. Thankfully it's too late in the season for mosquitoes, but there are a ton of little grasshoppers and butterflies that keep me company. And although the landscape as a whole is unremarkable, there are little patches of yellow flowers and bright green cacti that always draw my attention and make me smile.

I was reflecting on all this yesterday during a particularly long walk, and realized that this park is a lot like Del Rio itself. It's often overlooked except by those who already know where it is. It's small, simple, and generally unremarkable as far as parks go, but if you spend some time there, you'll notice it has some modest charm. Because it's just a big loop, it can seem monotonous and repetitive. But there are little bursts of color and life that can spice up your walk if you take the time to look. It's often the small things that make the difference, so although James and I are very much looking forward to a change of scenery, we're committed to making the most of Del Rio while we're here.

Good Bye

Well, the time that James and I have been dreading for a long time is finally here. This week we had to say good bye to two of the couples we spend a lot of time with. Nick and Kristyn Szala, and Sam and Jen Robertson were newlyweds who lived in our apartment complex so, naturally, we hung out a lot. James, Nick, and Sam got to know each other while in pilot training and made it a point to try and get together so their new wives would make friends. Kristyn and I really bonded and made it a point to hang out at least once a week (usually to watch Project Runway and eat gummy bears every Wednesday night.)

Unfortunately, both Nick and Sam are F-15 pilots (unlike James who will fly an F-16) and were unexpectedly ordered to leave for their next assignment in Florida. It's crazy because we knew they would be moving before we did since they're on a different time table, but we were all kind of shocked when the Air Force decided to have them report two months early. They were extremely busy with everything that needed to be done for the move, but we made sure to spend some quality time together when they had time. We hung out with Sam and Jen before they moved last week, and then had Nick and Kristyn over for dinner last night before they left this morning.

It's a shame that pretty much all of the lady friends I've made down here will not be continuing on with us in the F-16 track. They are either older and married to Instructor Pilots, or their husbands are in the heavy community and will go on to fly transport planes. Most of the other F-16 pilots we know are single guys. They're a lot of fun to hang out with at parties or as a small group, but that's definitely not the same as having a girlfriend to hang out with on my own.

I suppose that's just the way of the Air Force...you arrive at a new place and make friends, then you move again and make new friends - all the while trying to hang onto the old ones. On the one hand, it's great because you get to meet all kinds of people, travel all over the world, and you never have an opportunity to get stuck in a rut because you are perpetually having to start over. However, you never get to really settle in and it kind of puts a strain on your relationships.

It's interesting looking back on your life and seeing all the small things that God has used to prepare you for the challenges of your future. The thought of marrying into the military never crossed my mind growing up, and yet I was conditioned for the lifestyle all the same. I may not have moved as much as an army brat, but we did live in four different houses while I was growing up and I attended 6 different schools (in the same city - before college). As much as I loathe letting people go and having to start all over, I've learned how to cope with it thanks to my dad's real estate career. I still have a really hard time getting up the courage to go out and meet new people, and I will always hate having to saying good bye, but because the Lord knows this about me He's given me the strength and experience to make it through. Life is never easy, and God likes to challenge us so we grow, but He will never throw something at us that we can't handle.

I did not enjoy saying good bye to my new friends this week, but instead of moping around I suppose I should look at it as an opportunity for growth and be thankful that - no matter how many times I have to say good bye - I'll never lose my most important Friend.

Fireproof

This weekend James and I went to the movies. We haven't been in a long while because our little Del Rio theater has not been playing anything good in recent weeks. However, we really wanted to find something fun to do outside of the apartment, so I spent some time researching the movies that are playing. There was only one that seemed doable - a Christian film I'd briefly heard of called "Fireproof". I was skeptical at first, but am very glad we went.

"Fireproof" is Kirk Cameron's latest stab at cinematic evangelism - aimed at married couples who are struggling with what it means to love unconditionally. The concept is that Cameron's character, Caleb, is a fireman who loves what he does and would run into a burning building to save a stranger. However, refuses to make any attempt to save his own marriage. When he and his wife finally start the process of getting a divorce, Caleb's dad steps in and dares him to try loving his wife unconditionally for forty days before signing any papers. As time goes on, it becomes clear that Caleb will forever be incapable of loving anyone but himself until he brings himself to accept the love and grace of his Heavenly Father.

Now - I'm not gonna lie. The movie starts out really rough. It's obvious that the film was made on a low budget with a strong evangelical agenda. Some of the conversations were designed to be teaching tools and, therefore, feel very unnatural. Once you relax your critical eye and allow yourself to be swept up in the story, however, the whole experience becomes very emotional and impacting. They have some pretty hard-hitting points that are not quickly forgotten, and I laughed, cried, and cheered in spite of myself.

I'd definitely recommend the movie to anyone who is married, or plans on getting married in the near future. Even if you think your marriage is just fine, I think "Fireproof" will give you a new perspective on how intimately linked your faith and your ability to love your spouse are. It's also a huge encouragement for those who are struggling in any way. At one point, Caleb is talking with his best friend at the fire department, trying to explain why his marriage failed. He says that it was inevitable because: "Marriage isn't fireproof." His friend just shakes his head knowingly and replies:

"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means that when the fire comes, you will be able to withstand it."

I think the movie really digs into a lot of the reasons marriages don't last very long in our culture. First and foremost, we have lost our faith in, and fear of, God - and don't even try to conform to His perfect design for marriage. Second, we stop putting effort into our relationships as soon as we say "I Do". We quit listening to and serving our spouses, and assume we no longer need to take time to get to know them. Finally, we allow harmful distractions and addictions to steal our time, money and attention away from the person who should be at the top of our list of priorities. I was impressed that the film even tackled the sticky issue of pornography and how that can rip a marriage apart.

The coolest thing about the movie is that the guidebook Caleb uses during his 40 day quest to repair his message is available to purchase. It's called "The Love Dare" and is full of beautiful daily devotions that helps teach you about loving people unconditionally. I'm pretty tempted to get a copy for myself so James and I can work through it, then pass it on. (It's less than $9 if you get it through the movie website: http://www.fireproofmarriage.com.)

If you have an opportunity to see the movie, I'd definitely recommend it. I promise you won't regret it.

My Trip to SIU

After long weeks of preparation, I finally made my trip out to SIU last week. It seems like I've been planning and preparing for this for months, and all of the sudden it was time to pack my bags and go!

The trip out there was pretty rough because I caught a nasty cold right before leaving that made me feel really weak and ill and generally uncomfortable while traveling. But I was so blessed to have a couple friends who picked me up and took good care of me on the drive from St. Louis to Carbondale. My friend Leann was especially generous. She not only drove me around all week, but fed me and housed me and helped me do everything that needed to be done in preparation for the retreat. She is very much responsible for my enjoyment and comfort over the 6 day trip.

On Thursday and Friday I got to walk around on campus, visit friends

and take care of some important business at the records office. It was great to be back in the Communications Building, seeing old teachers and classmates and telling them about my wedding and all I've been up to since graduating. I also really enjoyed having lunch in the Student Center and taking a walk around campus lake. These were all things I loved doing while I was at school, and at some points while walking around, I felt like I'd never left.

Thursday night I gave the first of my two talks to Intervarsity. I was really nervous because I have never really given a long talk like this before, and I was still trying to get over that cold which meant my voice was not 100%. At one point, it sounded like the video clip from "The Bucket List" that I was relying on to illustrate the central theme of the talk wasn't going to play. Thankfully, everything went smoothly and everyone seemed to enjoy what I had to say. Afterward, I decided we needed to celebrate so my friends took me out to Steak 'n Shake (my favorite Carbondale restaurant).

The retreat started on Friday night and ran through Sunday afternoon. I was so excited to have the chance to participate - not only because I got to speak, but because I felt like I, too, was on a spiritual retreat and was challenged to grow like all the other students were. Each of the speakers had a different topic that they introduced as a way for students to thrive in college, and none of them were light subjects. Whether it was talking about lordship, using the spiritual disciplines to grow in your faith, authentic Christian community, or evangelism on campus, we really pushed these kids to "move beyond surface living into the depths" (Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline).

My talk went really, really well (much better than I expected). The other leaders especially appreciated the fact that I tried to concentrate on our IV chapter and what the students can and should be doing on campus, rather than just delivering a nebulous talk about general Christian principles. I'm hoping to get a recording of the talk somehow... But if that doesn't work I can email the written-out version of the talk to you. (It's about 8 pages single spaced so hopefully you can listen to it instead of having to read that craziness.)

Saturday afternoon we had a 3 hour retreat of silence where we spread out throughout the camp grounds and spent some quality time with God.

This was honestly what I was most looking forward to because I always feel like I get a lot out of the reading and praying I usually do during a retreat of silence. However, I realized that I have all the time in the world in Del Rio to sit and read, and decided instead to go outside and walk around the lake on the grounds. I took my camera with me and spent an hour or so wandering around and worshiping God in nature. There were so many grand things - like the expansive blue lake, or the gigantic trees. And in between all of these big things were tiny things that are equally beautiful, like these little purple flowers. God's creation really is exquisite! Only when my legs got unavoidably sore did I return to the lodge to read and reflect on all I had learned.

After the retreat of silence we had a long period of free time. I was very tempted to go sleep for a couple of hours because living the college lifestyle again was really wearing me out, but I decided my time would be better spent making relationships with people. So I got involved in a crazy game of Scattergories with some of the freshman. Later that night we got our fill of church camp madness as we held our own version of "Fear Factor" and watched in disgust as six brave volunteers ate some truly revolting "foods". Finally, after Saturday night's discussion, we all headed out to the woods and ate smores around a bonfire.

I was really sad when the retreat was over on Sunday because it meant it was time for me to leave all my friends behind and begin my trek back to

Del Rio. I did make sure to run around and take a lot of pictures with all of my friends, and I was even commissioned to take the traditional large group photo right before we left. There are still so many people out there that I care about a lot, and I am hoping that I will get invited back again. Patrick (the head of our chapter) made sure to pull me aside before I left and told me that he really thinks I have a gift for teaching and hopes I'll continue to seek out opportunities to use it. O=^)

Because my plane was leaving early on Monday morning, I decided it would be a good idea to make the two and a half hour drive up to St. Louis

on Sunday afternoon, and allow myself a little bit more sleep in the morning. My friend Will Strang (from film school) has a condo in on the Mississippi and offered to let me stay the night with his family, and then drive me to the airport the next morning. The only catch was that I had to find a ride up there. So a bunch of my buddies and I road-tripped it up there and spent the evening eating and laughing together. Those guys were some of the closest friends I had in college (to the point that we refer to ourselves as a "film family") and so it was wonderful getting to spend some quality time with them again.

By the time my plane took off, I was ready to go home. Even though I was only gone for 6 days, I missed my husband terribly and was looking forward to getting back to my normal routine. He was wonderful and surprised me when I got off the plane with a big bouquet of roses and a bag of my favorite Dove chocolates. (I'm so lucky!!)

The question now is - what's next? No answer as of right now...but stay tuned.